Mangia Piu Kale!

no more anatomy of heartache

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Last night a cop pulled up as we waited at a crosswalk. He asked if my gingerale was beer. He was about 18 years old. Venice. We've been taking long walks at night. What's best is when the fog covers the beach, and you can see the lights of the Santa Monica pier all distorted and crazy through it. The ferris wheel there is phenomenal, it has these wild, colorful light patterns, multiple different ones in rapid succession.

I flip-flop re: whether or not I could live here long-term. I am not great about living in the moment, my mind always runnning running running. Guess what, meditation definitely doesn't fix that over the course of just a few months. Somewhere the Buddha is laughing at me. I experienced some bummed out time today, around employment. A wonderful friend offered me a job making molto dinaro while working very few hours, nannying for a well-known person, but they needed an immediate answer, and car ownership is an absolute requirement. I've never owned a car in my life. So the main part of my sadness results from confusion: do I want to really get into the lifestyle here, and get a car, to open up my possibilities? I allowed this to mess with my head way more than the situation warrants. Shoot, I don't have the cash to get a car. Anyway...
I think I'm also a bit lonely. I'm really focusing on job hunting, so I haven't had the chance to get involved in any community stuff. And I've not made the effort to visit our friends in Hollywood or Los Feliz. I realized today that I must make time, that balance is necessary.

In cheerier news, I found a yoga studio right around the corner. The classes are SO cheap. I went yesterday and feel amazing. If I keep it up, coupled with all the walking, I should be able to show off at Muscle Beach in no time. People here love showing off their bodies. It's both awesome and funny. Should I just give in and get Ugg boots and some mini-skirts?
Seriously, this place is weird. I see too many young women resembling aged bar-fly drag queens, for all the awful make-up they wear. That's snarky of me, I realize.

Again. Venice. We'll see.