I found out today that my friend Shelli died. The brain tumor that she'd been dealing with for a year and a half. We'd met in the therapeutic yoga class for cancer survivors. Our age united us (we were the only young people in a class). We were also diagnosed with cancer within a month of each other, we later discovered. I feel grief but I also understand that she is no longer in pain. she was in great physical pain the entire time I knew her. I wish she'd been able to meet my other friends so they could know her awesomeness but it was hard for her to get around usually.
I am so grateful we became friends. I loved her immediately, she inspired me and was so smart and interesting and a sweetheart. It was fun doing yoga with her every week. I'm grateful that I was able to meet her boyfriend and sister, go to their house, meet her scratchy cat, see her art work and the beautiful plants everywhere. I was so excited when I found out she was Jewish too (around the high holy days in October). I'm grateful too, that Jnani, our teacher, called to tell me about Shelli's passing. She said good things that made it easier to take this news.
I am very very sad. I wish I was an eloquent, graceful person who could write something beautiful for my beautiful friend. But I will write this. She was very tiny, so tiny you could pick her up with one arm easily. She had pretty brown hair and the sweetest beautiful face and a nose ring. She was soft-spoken. She was frank about what she was going through. She was generous and fun to be around. I felt safe next to her. She was the only close friend of mine who understood what it was like to be young and have cancer. I'm so sorry I missed her memorial service, which was yesterday. So i will go to the ocean now and sit there and draw pictures and send her my love in my own way. Right before Jnani called me I saw a beautiful brown and orange butterfly.