so i am going to write stuff sometimes regarding what cancer is like. partially for me, partially to let my friends know what's going on, so i don't feel like a broken record, for lots of reasons. de todos modos, i think it will be good for me.

i had to return to the hospital last night. i had severe chills and my body was shaking ridiculously. my temperature shot to 103.2, which, if you are a healthy adult, is bad. if you are someone w/ a compromised immune system and low white blood cell count due to chemo, it's tremendously bad. yet common. go figure. some friends were over, and kwong was able to drive me to the hospital. i couldn't stand up, so colin carried me downstairs and put me in the car. kevin spent the night w/ me at the hospital, where i was poked and prodded for an hour. they took what seemed like gallons of blood from me (yes, i am exaggerating, but i hate having blood drawn, and it WAS a lot). they changed my picc-line (for those who don't know, that's the semi-permanent IV i chose to have inserted in my arm) dressing, which is never fun. then they gave me a thorough examination to assess whether or not the fever caused neurological damage. it was a long night. i am really grateful that kevin was here.

this morning i woke to find that my hair is falling out. i was actually expecting to lose it sooner. but i am obviously sad about this part.
my fever broke early on, and i feel pretty good, bodywise. they can keep me here up to 4 days for observation, but i am hoping that i can leave by tomorrow night. they even disconnected my IV. but i definitely understand that it's safer for me to be here, if the fever returns. and the blood cultures aren't done....culturating(?) yet, so no idea if i actually have/had an infection someplace in my body.
as always i am appreciating the visitors and phone calls. colin and suzanne spent much of the day w/ me, and some more folks are coming later. i love it, it keeps my spirit up. as long as i am laughing, and even feeling feisty or bratty, i feel like myself, not some "sick" person. unfortunately this hospital is becoming my second home, but i continue to remind myself that this is a temporary situation. come the spring, there will be no more chemo, and i will grow new hair (i hope it grows in a completely new color and texture. that would completely rule), and my surgery incision will be closer to healed.